do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is that strawberry winking at me??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
