she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
