we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
