none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
