If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
