I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
