i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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