May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
