Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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