i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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