Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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