my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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