Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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