When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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