Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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