Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
