so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He passed out mid-signature
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
