Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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