I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
