My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
