You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
