I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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