I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize