This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
