I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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