Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
