i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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