I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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