he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
