How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
