If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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