tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
