He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize