There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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