It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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