i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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