So drunk its hurt
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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