would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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