Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
