For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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