some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she peed on how many people?
you will always have a special place in my vag
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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