Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think my vagina is haunted
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
