great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
