i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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