do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
