I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
