i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
