Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want her autograph on my taint
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize