Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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