Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
