Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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