Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
