I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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