why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
