i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize