You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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