Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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