This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
