hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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