My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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