Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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