would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
