I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
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Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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